COVID-19 Living Surrounded

I had a quarantine birthday for the first time in my life. I turned 44 yrs old the other day. My mother baked a cake from scratch. Something I probably could never do. It was a quick happy birthday song and we had cake and vanilla ice cream. Since my 40th birthday with my closest friends and family; birthdays have a bit dull. I moved here to be with my son and sacrificed all my friends and most of my family. When his dad moved him back up north it devisated me. My trust in God has been gone and I have no idea how to trust God again. I am doubting religion all together. I’m not saying there is no God, aliens with a gaming controllers controlling all the people on earth or just an empty void of blackness beyond this life. Everyone wants to know if there is life after death. When we die do we get beamed up like Scottie in Star Track to another planet after our test on earth is done. Kinda like leveling up in a video game.

Being alone together is getting to me. I am sure it’s getting to every person on earth right now. People are dying alone in hospitals. Families can’t have funerals for their loved ones. There is not enough ventilators for all the sick that need them. The President needs to close the entire country to stop this virus. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to lose a loved one. THIS IS NOT A JOKE OR SCHEME TO PREVENT TRUMP FROM BEING RE-ELECTED. Trump didn’t listen mths ago about this virus. He should not be proud to be a “War Time President”; when he is the one who start the war.

My daughter is extremely angry all the time about just about everything that happens in her life. She is mostly angry at her brother for the smallest things. I am doing my best to understand and listen to her when she wants to talk (more like yelling/screaming). She is badly jealous of the way I treat him. I am doing my best to treat them the same. Seems like the harder I try to even things out she feels worse. Being stuck inside and bipolar is taking a huge toll on her. Also my son and I.

Camping….

I love to go camping…

What you would call “true camping”. Where your only light is the sun, the moon and a campfire; other than your flashlight to light the way to the outhouse. The smell of a campfire has always relaxed me and made my life worries melt away completely. The sound of water flowing from a nearby creek or waves of a lake washing my mind of all thought. The frogs croaking like a bass drum and the crickets with their scratchy yet electric beat. The breeze of the cleanest air that you think is the freshest air you have ever inhaled. The smell of toasting marshmallows for s’mores. The best conversations with the best of your friends and family. Where the space around you is for that time your whole world. #campingismyworld